The challenge that stems from all of this is to dream with your eyes wide-open. Take the step of faith now to my your dreams a living reality. Take off the limits that confine you and go back to the beginning where you knew that the dreams that made you tick, were achievable. Lose the mentality that you have to settle for what’s in front of you, instead go after all of the things you always thought that you would. Know that the desires that are in your heart are for a purpose and KNOW that He will guide you through it all. Doubt your doubts, and believe His word to be true for you. May we never lose our wonder.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you thought you were completely ready for only to find out, you a realllll joker (read that with some ‘tude and your head to the side) and need to take two steps back? Yeah, well same. I thought I worked through all that needed to be worked through and was ready to dive in, only to get to the edge of the high dive and second guess myself. Suddenly, deep seeded emotions came flooding back of the last time I tried to jump off the high dive and the time before and the time before. Only to find myself thinking, maybe I should just go chill in the wave pool and quit trying this out? Life just won’t seem to let that happen though.
May we live each day intentionally by conducting ourselves from the position of faith and certainty. May we speak kindly, having our words seasoned with salt and light; to others and to ourselves. And may we always choose wisely when it comes to our perspectives. It’s never to late to change your point of view and take your secure seat with Him. Our conversations come from where we look, so what do you see?
We have all had those seasons where we are surrounded by storm clouds, stuck in the pouring rain. Sometimes it pours and pours, until we think the storm that is raging all around will never cease. The memory of sunshine seems to slowly fade away, becoming a distant memory or a thing of the past. It's in these stormy seasons, you find out what your foundation is made of. Will it withstand the storm or be washed away? It's in these seasons that you find out what you really believe and what you're really made of.
When I started tossing around the idea of this blog I wasn’t going to address this issue. Then I realized that there are so many that, while they may not have my exact experience, can relate to it so deeply. I knew I had to share. I will touch on different aspects more throughout the blog concerning this topic and all of the aspects that come with it. So I am going to be real, super real, in hopes of reaching real people. Those that are close to me, know I’m a little bit oniony (may or may not be a real word but just roll with it). I’m “oniony” in the fact that you’ve got to go through layers to get to the core of who I am. Y’all, I get it from my momma, so it just comes naturally. With that being said, transparency here I come….
Growing up I was always a rule follower. The only thing I got in trouble for in school was talking too much, I couldn’t resist, I’m a social butterfly. I obviously wasn’t perfect, but I surely tried to make the right choices, follow after God and live an honest, good life. I never had a hell to heaven testimony. I was born into the world of Jesus and embraced it whole-heartedly. I graduated high school, went to college, traveled with my mom to minister in numerous states and married my high school sweetheart. I did it all right, right?
“It’s just a shocker because you’re Kaylee Walker and you’re divorced. That’s just something we never thought you’d be.” I heard almost those exact words from multiple people when the news of my divorce broke out. My inner voice was always screaming a million thoughts of mixed emotions full of insecurities, anger, hurt and devastation. I was the girl that followed all of those rules and after almost two years of marriage, it was over.
On this side of it I can say, what a humbling experience. I may not have had a hell to heaven testimony but I still needed the same grace of God that every other human needs. I learned what it was like to have my perfect little life turned upside down. It opened my eyes to a whole new faith in God that I had never experienced before. It doesn’t matter who you are, or how many “right” choices you make, you need Jesus. It’s just that plain and simple.
I say it was a humbling experience because I was so caught up in people’s perception of me and my “perfect” little life. With a divorce, all eyes were on me and not in good way. For the first time I had “failed” at life and I felt like I couldn’t come back from it. I felt like I’d never be good enough or achieve on a higher level because of it. I thought because of my relationship status, my life would never amount to its fullest potential. Ew, right? Right.
Then I realized that I was letting a mistake of my past shackle the potential of my future. At what point did my mistakes, out weight the mercy of God? He is gracious and forgiving, so why wasn’t I allowing Him to be in my life? I finally grasped the thought, that in order to move on in my God designed future, I had to let go of my past. My past couldn’t define my future, Jesus had to.
So here I am today, liberated from the bondage of a sad time from my past. I am so much more than a girl that got a divorce. I am a child of the Most High God. I am forgiven and chosen in Him. I am forgiven and set apart for such a time as this. I am a woman that allows the work at the cross to be applied in her life. I am more than my past, because my Savior took care of that. I had to quit viewing myself as that mistake, and see myself for much more.
I tell all of that in hopes that anything that is defining you, other than who you truly are, will be rid from you. Stop beating yourself up over something you cannot change. Instead change what you can; what defines you and your future. Let go of the thoughts that you can’t or won’t be who you were made to be because of something that you’ve done or that has happened to you. You were made for more than that! Use whatever bound you to your past as a stepping stone for what is in store for you. @@It is so freeing to know that I am not defined by my past, but instead by the one who holds my future.@@
When life gives you lemons… you know the rest. But what about when life throws you some hand-grenades? Sometimes life can feel like an uphill battle. You’d gladly take those lemons life used to offer, because you’re tired, thirsty and lemonade would be oh so refreshing. What do we do when life goes beyond the sour patches into those war-zones?
From day one I've wanted to be grown up. I was always on the fast track to being grown and so at the age of 8 or 9 I was determined that I would wake up alone. I got an alarm clock and was going to start waking up alone. Oh what I would do to go back to the good ole days of someone waking me up instead of the sound of an alarm.